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"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

The playground

I have a love/hate relationship with the playground.  But mostly hate.  The girls love it, so I keep taking them there, despite my ever growing irritation with it.  My kids clearly only see the surface of a playground.  The slides, swings, monkey bars, and various other kidtastic entities a playground has to offer.  I on the other hand, see everything else a playground represents.

Exhibit A: It's a place for teenagers to be obnoxious.  


If you can't read this grammar and spelling catastrophe, neither can I.  But I assure you a teenager wrote it to be super awesome.  How do I know?  It has the words "suck", "ass", and "bitch" in it.  And I can tell you that nothing makes want to send my kid down a slide more than stuff like that.  

And FYI, some teens didn't the memo that playgrounds are for kids.  Because who doesn't think it's a parent free place to makeout with your girlfriend while 20 toddlers are screaming around you.  Sounds romantic.....

And my final teen gripe is that they hang out in groups and do things to get attention. Like throw swings over the bar so nobody can reach them.  Or spin so fast on a tire swing that he or she throws up while everybody laughs.  

I don't get it.  So glad I was never a teenager.


Exhibit B: Playgrounds aren't just where kids and annoying teens hang out.
Tweakers like them too.
.

Oh, hey look.  It's cops arresting a meth head behind my kids.  Good thing they are too busy having fun on the swing to notice the firetruck and ambulance driving in next to those police cars....

And that was our first experience at that playground.  Other parks we've visited have allowed us the opportunity to meet all kinds of interesting characters who have scared the bejesus out of me.  And I swear, I take my kids to legit playgrounds.  It doesn't matter.

Exhibit C: And speaking of that...Teens, tweakers and everybody else seems to leave all kinds of "treasures" for kids to find. 

"Hey mom," what is that rubber thing on the ground?" Enough said.


Exhibit D: The reason I'm even writing this post right now. Other parents.

At the park today, a little boy was stuck on top of the money bars.  I was over there with the girls, so I offered to get him down. His mom then decided that we should engage in conversation.  Not that I have a problem with that per say, except for two things.  #1, My kids still don't play by themselves.  I have to be fully engaged.  #2, She initiates her conversation by saying, "My son is staring at the girls.  He loves them. And he loves older women."  To which I reply, "They can't be too far apart, my oldest is 3.5.  How old is your son?" It was a weird and creepy way to start a conversation, but I was trying to be nice.  Until she said this, "He likes way older women, like you.  And he was staring at the girls.  Not your girls."  Insert creepy crawler super grossed out, WTF moment.  Who says that?  Who even thinks that? She then tried to engage in more random conversation as she and her kids followed me around the playground.  We eventually just left.  

Aside from the pure weirdness of that person, I don't really understand other people who are super engaging at the park.  You are there so your kids can run and play.  People who want to talk life story aren't paying attention to their kids.  I've never met anybody who met their best friend at a park while their kids are playing.  Be friendly yes.  But I don't want to know that you are in the middle of a divorce because your husband shows no emotion, have 3 cats, and are about to undergo a cyst removal.  What was your name again?

Rant over.  I already promised the kids we would try a new park tomorrow. Wish me luck.

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