"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

I’ll take another special treat with a side of diabetes

Here is a question for the generations: How can the same small bladder run frantically to the bathroom and not always make it without an accident, yet still have enough control to siphon her pee into 15 different trips if she knows she’s going to get a special treat for each one?

Even I, with full adult bladder control, do not have the focus, willpower, or bladder prowess to do what my child manages to do on a daily basis.  Bathroom, wash hands, special treat.  Repeat. Repeat again. And again.  She would spend the whole day doing that if I let her, simply for the “special treat.” And because of my desperation to get her potty trained, the special treat anti was upped from two M&M’s to full sized marshmallows, mini Snickers (or as Ellyette calls them, “Snoozie bars”), lollipops, fruit snacks and ice cream. 

And now, not only is my kid addicted to candy and urination, she also refuses to wear clothes.  In her world, it just hinders the ability to get on the toilet faster so she can get a special treat.  While normally not a problem, as we spend a great deal of time at home these days, going out in public has proven to be quite a disaster.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I was just trying to get her on the toilet in a sanitary way without her obsessing over the loudness of each public toilet flush.  Or, if my only challenge was to get her to go without ripping all her clothes off and refusing to put them back on.  Or if the only issue was running back and fourth four times in each place so she doesn’t have an accident – I could deal with all those things. The problem is that all these things go together….And I can’t leave Milan hanging out in isle 12, so I deal with all of it one-handed.   Good times!  Not.

The deeper into potty training we get, the more I think I like diapers.  If this keeps up, my kids might be the only ones in kindergarten still wearing huggies.