"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

This trip to Vegas was not like the others

“I mean, who brings their kids to Vegas…” said the chick with a Coors Light in one hand and a 50oz gold plastic Champagne bottle cocktail in the other. She slurred it to her friend, but loud enough so I could clearly hear it.

“My baby is going to win mama a new Mercedes today,” I replied.  “She loves those progressive slots.”

But what I really wanted to say was, “It’s 10am and you are super drunk and still wearing your club outfit from last night, I hope. But your makeup has worn off, with the exception of smeared eyeliner, and you look like Vegas got the best of you. So take your billion-ounce pimp cup full of cheap booze and sugar and head to the closest hotel for some shut-eye.

All Gold All The Time

But then again, she did have a point. Ellyette did want the free cards people were handing out...errrrrr...

Hey buddy, do you have a PG version in that stack?    
Milan's sticker shock at price they are
charging for M&M's
Ellyette trying to run away from the creepy
antics going on behind her
We immediately went to the  four-story M&M store for some wholesome rated "G" activity and overpriced candy.  And just to make up for my mom guilt for having my kids in Vegas, I spent $6.99 per pound on those candies.  Talk about getting violated in Las Vegas…..

Yes, the four-day trip was not like the Vegas of old.   The good news? No hangovers this trip.  The second best part?  Not getting lost in the hotel lobby and calling my dad crying hysterically to come get me at 4 a.m. because I had also lost my sister, who actually made it to the hotel room.    The third best part? Not losing all my money on slot machines that say one cent, but really mean $2.30 per spin. 
I’m pretty sure those slot machines have single-handedly kept Las Vegas rich,

WTF? How could I lose AGAIN? I bet 10,000 lines.  Wait, what do a Q
and a water buffalo have in common? This makes no sense. AWWWW
And not that I would chose to come to Las Vegas on a family trip, but being here for Ben’s cousins high school graduation, was actually pretty cool.  We got the chance to do things that well, I would never normally do in sin city.  The most memorable being this bad boy

And while Ellyette didn’t win me a new Mercedes, she did perfect her back spin on antique table bowling.  And that was enough for me.