"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

We made it

It was a hot and balmy morning.  Water was still evaporating on the ground from the previous nights rain.  Three exhausted patrons were about to make a long and strenuous flight into parts unknown.
One of the three was full of confidence, one full of anxiety and the third with a calm, already knowing about the chaos that was about to ensue.  As the plane, packed elbow to elbow, was set to take off, a wail erupted from seat 32A.  A flight attendant got on the speaker and announced a slight delay in takeoff, as the catering needs had not been met.  The crew needed more dinners to feed its hungry customers.  The wail grew into a yell and then into a full-fledged scream.  The plane was still grounded but patron three could not be consoled.  The terror in the eyes of patron two had turned into terror and patron one was no longer the confident man who had walked on.  He too had become panic-stricken with all the evil glances thrown his way.

Side note…..

It is documented that the scream of a crying baby is one of the worst noises a person can hear.  It beats such things as the sound of emergency alerts, nails on a chalkboard, and vomiting.  Yes, vomiting.
Back to the story. …

As the baby continued to scream the sound went from a high pitched sob to a choking bottom of the throat, “I’m being murdered” howl.  With head thrown back , clenched fists and all six teeth bared, the agony could not be stopped.  Not with Minnie Mouse stickers, not with animal flash cards, and not even with the iPad.  Nothing could console the baby.

Once in the air, things went from horrid to unbearable.  Nearby travelers began to yell, a K-Fed look alike began swearing, and the baby just got louder and more desperate. 
17-hours of horror later, the three arrived at their destination.  They were broken and ragged.  The beginning of their journey unknown…..

This is how I thought our flight would turn out.  Especially after our last trip to Bellingham where she was awful, I was scared.  In fact, I didn’t sleep for a week before we left just knowing how bad it would be.  My sleepless nights (aside from worrying about Ellyette falling into a canal in Venice and our IVF not working) were mostly about the airplane ride over.  And this is how she was:


 No joke.  She laughed, and played with her new surprise toys and hung out with Nana and Papa.  She also slept.  On both flights.   For the majority of both flights actually.  It was really amazing considering I had awake dreams about the scenario above that usually lasted from 2:00 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. with me breaking out into a cold sweat about a K-fed look alike swearing at my baby and parents (both of which have virgin ears).  But to my surprise and delight, my child was top notch.  TOP NOTCH!!  And all the people around us, including the guy next to us told us so.  So for the moment, I will believe I have truly been raising the perfect child.  At least until I mention that she did kick and pull the hair of the person in the seat in front of me several times. Minor details….