"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

Running with scissors

In the last two weeks, Ellyette has gone from crawling to running. What she doesn’t realize, is that she can barely walk, let alone run. Her two-legged movements are awkward at best and when you pair that with her nonsensical babble, she looks and sounds like a drunken pirate.

And it’s not like I expect drunken pirates or a one-year-old to have any sensibility, but once she realized her feet were around for more than toe sucking, any amount of caution that she might have exercised before she learned to walk has been completely abandoned.

This little girl is trying her hardest to end up back in the ER. Every morning she wakes up daring me to look away for two-seconds so she can do such activities as run around blocks in her mouth, pull down the shower curtain, or throw whatever she can get her grubby little fingers on. And that’s just where it starts. Before her first nap at 9:00 a.m., she has usually defied about a dozen major accidents.

Example of our morning:

Wake up 6:00 a.m. – rip diaper off, pee in crib and bang head against crib slots until I go get her.

6:20 a.m.- Officially start the day after unsuccessfully trying to get her to go back to sleep with me as she has already tried to launch herself from the bed to the floor three times.

6:30 a.m. – go into rec room aka "her toy room" where she proceeds to ignore all of her toys and instead grabs the curtains trying to pull them down on top of her.

6:45 a.m. – wants to help me make coffee and press all of the buttons on the machine. Once all the buttons are pressed and the hot coffee is starting to go into the pot, she wants to touch the super hot pot.

7:00 a.m. – She wants to go outside with the dogs and rather than touch all the leaves on our trees and point at the birds like she used too, she wants to dive bomb into the pool and then proceeds to cry when I don’t let her.

7:30 a.m. – Speed walk time – with blocks in mouth. When I take the blocks out of her mouth, she bangs her head on the tile.

7:40 a.m. – moves to completely tiled room where she tries to sprint only to get tangled up in her own feet.

8:00 a.m. – wants to help me make eggs by trying to touch the hot stove

8:30 a.m. after eating breakfast she wants to head over to the computer desk and pull drawers in and out as fast as they will go. Thus far, she has dodged the finger smash with me sacrificing my own fingers as a drawer stopper.

8:40 a.m. – Goes from the drawers to trying to stand on the printer.

8:50 a.m. – from the printer to opening and shutting doors. Thus far, she has dodged the finger smash with me sacrificing my foot as a door stopper.

9:00 a.m. – Her last hoorah before nap? Computer chords and electrical outlets.

BED TIME!!! Disaster averted

Although, she did get her first shiner with Ben the other day. She was racing around the house with her walker and got her legs mixed up in the wheels.

Thinking it's finally time to finish that baby proofing I've put off for the last year....