"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

The six-month review

In honor of Ellyette’s ½ birthday, I thought I would go on a tour of my most personal and intimate thoughts over the last six months - a peak inside my mind.

Month one – Welcome baby girl!!!

Labor and delivery was crazy. I’m so glad she is finally here!
What have we done?
Why am I crying, again?
Oh no, what is wrong with her? Why is she crying?
Why is her poop green?
Why is her poop runny?
Why do I spend a third of the day wondering about her poop?
Is she tired?
Is she hungry?
Does she need a diaper change?
Is she pooping enough?
Is she peeing enough?
Am I producing enough milk?
Should I be worrying about nipple confusion?
Should I be worrying about germs?
I am so tired
She is so beautiful, I can’t believe she’s mine
Breastfeeding is so painful. Can I keep doing it?
Why is she gassy? Is it dairy?
Will I ever stop crying?
I didn’t lose very much weight after labor and delivery. That sucks
Can she overdose on gripe water?
Whose eyes does she have? Ears? Nose? Mouth?
How do I do this?
I was totally unprepared for this
I hope I don't drop her

Month 2

Ditto month one questions +

Should she be spending so much time in the swing?
Is she too little? Too big? Too chunky? Too Skinny?
Is she developing mentally like she is supposed to?
Why does she hate tummy time so much?
Why won’t she sleep?
Why is she dairy sensitive?
What is an immature immune system? Did I cause this by doing something in my pregnancy?
Is she hitting her milestones?
Why is she gassy? Is it soy?
Why is she drooling so much?
How did I get such a cute baby?
Is she over stimulated? Under Stumulated
I hate it when she cries, why is she crying?
I love her so much.

Month 3

Ditto month one and two questions +

Is that a real smile?
Is she smarter than the curve? Less smart than the curve?
Is she over her dairy sensitivity?
Is she too hot? Too cold?
Is she getting sick?
Did she just laugh?
Is she bored, I hope she isn’t bored.
Why does she eat so much?
Is she normal?
Why is she gassy? Is it beans?
When am I going to start sleeping?
Why does she drool so much?
Why does she still hate tummy time? Will my putting it off affect her neck strength?
Does she recognize me yet?
Month 4

Ditto month 1-3 questions +

Is she starting to teeth? Oh no, I hope not
Rolling over and learning to boss me around in the same week? When did she grow up so much?
Why is she eating her fists and feet all the time?
Why is she so gassy? Is it curry?

Month 5

Ditto month 1-4 questions subtract the green poop question, the what have we/I done and the is she spending too much time in her swing. Add:

How can I possibly love her any more?
Who does she look like?
Why is she being so fussy?
How did I luck out with such an awesome kid?
Is she on track with her strength?
Am I a good parent?
That hair is amazing
I’m I a detriment to her health?
Should we let her cry it out?
Why isn’t she still sleeping?
Why is she waking up even more than when she was a baby?
Why won’t she nap anymore?
How can she function on such little sleep?
Why can’t I still eat dairy?
Should I keeping letting her feed on demand?
Should I give her teething tablets?
Should I give her teething gel?
Should I start her on solids?
I'm I instilling bad sleeping habits in her?
I really shouldn't still be co-sleeping.
She is never going to sleep in her crib.

And here we already are at month six. From:


These last 6 months have gone so fast that I fear the next questions I’ll be asking are:

Why is she friends with THAT girl?
Why is she so dramatic?
Why does she hate me?
Why does she have to be so boy crazy?
Is she smoking pot?
When do the hormones end?

In the last six months, of everything that I have learned, the most important is that it’s a 90 percent guessing game. You do the best you can and pray it’s good enough.