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"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

Wanted: Competence

We have finally started the nanny search (tears)

For about the last month Ben has suggested we get a nanny about 10 hours-per-week to help me out so I do things like clean the house, go to the gym, buy groceries, and most importantly, use our Arizona Cardinals football seasons tickets.

Translation: Ben misses a clean house, my old body, and attending football games with a beer in his hand rather than a baby.




















He finally put his foot down last Sunday when we left the Cardinals/Eagles football game before halftime because even with those honking headphones, it was still too loud for E.

I’ve had the good fortune to avoid it up until this point as I’m only working part time and my childcare situation for work is nothing short of amazing. Ben has her one-day and one of my amazing friends has her two days. But because this amazing friend lives 45 minutes away, it is completely impractical to have her watch Ellyette for just a few hours at a time.

So Monday morning Ben put an ad on sittercity to find the perfect person to watch E fizzle dizzle. We were both excitedly anticipating all the great and qualified candidates that we just knew were out there. Visions of Ellyette and the nanny laughing and playing together danced in my head while I tended to the house and trained for that half marathon I told myself I was going to run in January….umm. ya.

By Wednesday, I was thoroughly traumatized by the applicants that had applied for the job. No way was I going to let any one of these people watch my kid.

So as of now, we have no nanny. But the good news is that I don’t have to worry about some idiot putting my kid in a commercial washing machine and shutting the door only to have it auto-start.

(for those of you who haven't seen this gem of a video....)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf6pRCv64Aw

Based on the applicants we received, I have taken the liberty to put together a few tips on how to get a babysitting job:

Krista’s guide to getting a babysitting job:

1.For your online profile, a cell phone picture in the bathroom mirror just doesn’t cut it.

2.The above picture with “sexy pout lips” gives the impression that you are on the wrong website (hello Craigslist). No sluts allowed.

3.Thinking about posing with your Chihuahua for that profile picture? Don’t. It’s not that cute.

4.Posting that you are willing to watch up to 6 children by yourself does not make you 6 times more hirable.

5. The following statements will not get you hired. Anywhere. Ever.

“I really need a job at this momnet. And jobs anywhere else doesn't really want me since i'm still in school and i'm 20. But I promise you you can trust me.”

“I am eighteen years old and have recently graduated both high school and college as I was dual enrold.”

“I have had one year experince with babysitting my neighbors kid. I've only babysat her for the year. But i'm willing to work with anyone.

Of course nobody else wants to hire applicant one. But my guess is that it’s not because she is 20 and still in school (elementary school I presume based on her spelling and grammar). And her “I promise you can trust me” sentence makes me think she would lift anything not attached to the walls. I might as well say goodbye to my checkbook now.

Applicant #2 was duel enrold. I’m guessing she might have been duel enrold in halfway house high and the college of hard knocks. Imagine that, Duel enrold.

As far as applicant three, she might be willing to work with anyone, but I’m not.

Imagine choosing the person that is responsible for the most precious thing in your life from that pool. Wowza.


Anyway, continuing on with my guide

6. OMG, Don’t use txt spk on ur app. ☺


7. If you do get an interview, don’t show up 45 minutes early. And then have your boyfriend wait in his truck outside the house.

8. Turn your cell phone off during the interview, and if you forget at least don’t answer your text messages while you are describing your experience.

9. When I ask what kind of things you would do with a 4-month-old, don’t let the first and only thing out of your mouth be, “I guess I would have her watch those baby Einstein videos.”

10. Don’t tell me that you just “pretty much sit around your house all day.” - Especially when your application says that you are in college.

Based on the above list, I don’t think my expectations are too high. All I want is a nanny who can spell at a 5th grade level, have a respectable profile, and interact with my child rather than a cell phone. Not too complicated in theory….

On the bright side, unlike one of my friends, at least I didn’t have an interviewee with neck tattoos or one that offered to “take my baby away to the organic farm she had with her boyfriend to “get away” for a weekend. – creepy. Who would say that in an interview?

I guess I shouldn't be that surprised.

2 comments:

  1. And that is why I have chosen to never have a sitter for my kid...I have given up all fun because of those crazies out there....Seriously though....what is up with those applicants? I really wish I could do some sort of background check on these people...

    Good luck in your search and I hope the perfect nanny shows up soon! I still think the ear covers are too cute on your little one....We haven't taken our daughter to a game yet, but my guess is I wouldn't be worried about the noise level so much as the words she was hearing....

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