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"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

The Good Dr.

After spending much of my time reading children's books (which I will address my overall distate for in another blog post), I realized that I do dig my man Dr. Seuss. And after reading Green Eggs and Ham about 500 hundred times, I thought I would pay the good dr. homage(or insult depending on perspective...)

So here's to you Dr. Seuss and your book Green Eggs and Ham:






I am Ellyette.
Ellyette Mae.
Ellyette Mae I say.
Say I may, I’m Ellyette Mae.

Would you like my tears today?
Would you like them, what do you say?

I would not like your tears today.
I would not like them, Ellyette Mae.

Would you like them at the house?
Would you like them on your blouse?
Would you like them in my crib?
Would you like them on my bib?

Would you like them here or there?
Would you like them anywhere?

I would not like them at the house.
I would not like them on my blouse.
I would not like them in your crib.
I would not like them on your bib.

I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere,

I do not want your tears I say,
I do not want them Ellyette Mae.

What about when I want to eat?
When all I want is just the teat?
When I decide not to take a bottle?
Or when you put me in a swaddle?

Would you like them in the car?
Would you drive straight to the bar?
Do you want them on the plane?
Will they make you go insane?

I would not like them when you want to eat.
When the only thing you want is teat.
Not when you reject the bottle.
And certainly not in the swaddle.

I would not like them in the car.
Yes, I would drive to the bar.
I do not want them on the plane.
I think I might just go insane.

I would not like them at the house.
I would not like them on my blouse.
I would not like them in your crib.
I would not like them on your bib.

I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere,

I do not want your tears I say,
I do not want them Ellyette Mae.

How about when I’m good and mad?
Or for no reason just to make you sad?
When I’m in the bouncy chair?
What about then, do you think that’s fair?

For sure when I’m on tummy time?
Might as well get your glass of wine?
How about when you change my diap?
I’ll turn into the crying type?

Please not when you’re good and mad.
And definitely not to make me sad.
Not when you are in the chair.
No, I really don’t think that is fair.

Not when you are on tummy time.
I don’t need an excuse to drink more wine.
Definitely not when I change your diap.
Please don’t be the crying type.

I would not like them when you want to eat.
When the only thing you want is teat.
Not when you reject the bottle.
And certainly not in the swaddle.

I would not like them in the car.
Yes, I would drive to the bar.
I do not want them on the plane.
I think I might just go insane.

I would not like them at the house.
I would not like them on my blouse.
I would not like them in your crib.
I would not like them on your bib.

I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere,

I do not want your tears I say,
I do not want them Ellyette Mae.

I’ll make you pay when you eat with spice.
Those jalapenos weren’t very nice.
For sure when you consume the dairy.
I’ll cry when I meet with the gas fairy.

When I’m tired, hungry or sad.
This crying thing is not a fad.
So you better get used to these tears.
Cause’ you’ll get to hear them for all of my years.

Yikes!

I would not like your tears with spice.
I quit the dairy to make you nice.
No more Cayenne, no more cheese.
No more crying, I ask you please.

Not when you’re tired, hungry or sad.
Please let the crying thing be a fad.
I don’t want to get too used to those tears.
A crabby baby is one of my fears.

Not when you are mad
Not to make me sad
Not in the chair
No, that’s really not fair

Not when you are on tummy time
I don’t need an excuse to drink more wine
Definitely not when I change your diap.
Please don’t be the crying type

I would not like them when you want to eat
When the only thing you want is teat
Not when you reject the bottle
And certainly not in the swaddle

I would not like them in the car
Yes, I would drive to the bar
I do not want them on the plane
I think I might just go insane

I would not like them at the house
I would not like them on my blouse
I would not like them in your crib
I would not like them on your bib

I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere,

I do not want your tears I say,
I do not want them Ellyette Mae



I could go on, but I should probably tend to my child….

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