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"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

The Happiest Baby On The Block?

Dear Dr. Harvey Karp,

Like good expecting parents, Ben and I sat through 2/3rds of your video, "Happiest Baby on the Block." It was very informative and provided good information. However, we finally had to shut it off because the video was full crying babies. No offense, but crying babies are not very much fun to listen to.

I then read your book, because you can't actually hear the crying babies. Thank you for making it an easy read. Something that I could finish in one setting actually. The fourth trimester concept seems legit, and the five S's? Oh ya, my secret weapon to having the happiest baby on the block.

So three months in to this parenting thing, I wanted to let you know how we are doing with the five S's.

Side Hold, or "Football Hold"



















Shhhhh
















Swing



















Sucking



















Swaddle




















So hats off to you Dr. Harvey Karp, for making sure I have the "Happiest Baby on the Block." Of course, to my knowledge, she is the only baby on the block.




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The Good Dr.

After spending much of my time reading children's books (which I will address my overall distate for in another blog post), I realized that I do dig my man Dr. Seuss. And after reading Green Eggs and Ham about 500 hundred times, I thought I would pay the good dr. homage(or insult depending on perspective...)

So here's to you Dr. Seuss and your book Green Eggs and Ham:






I am Ellyette.
Ellyette Mae.
Ellyette Mae I say.
Say I may, I’m Ellyette Mae.

Would you like my tears today?
Would you like them, what do you say?

I would not like your tears today.
I would not like them, Ellyette Mae.

Would you like them at the house?
Would you like them on your blouse?
Would you like them in my crib?
Would you like them on my bib?

Would you like them here or there?
Would you like them anywhere?

I would not like them at the house.
I would not like them on my blouse.
I would not like them in your crib.
I would not like them on your bib.

I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere,

I do not want your tears I say,
I do not want them Ellyette Mae.

What about when I want to eat?
When all I want is just the teat?
When I decide not to take a bottle?
Or when you put me in a swaddle?

Would you like them in the car?
Would you drive straight to the bar?
Do you want them on the plane?
Will they make you go insane?

I would not like them when you want to eat.
When the only thing you want is teat.
Not when you reject the bottle.
And certainly not in the swaddle.

I would not like them in the car.
Yes, I would drive to the bar.
I do not want them on the plane.
I think I might just go insane.

I would not like them at the house.
I would not like them on my blouse.
I would not like them in your crib.
I would not like them on your bib.

I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere,

I do not want your tears I say,
I do not want them Ellyette Mae.

How about when I’m good and mad?
Or for no reason just to make you sad?
When I’m in the bouncy chair?
What about then, do you think that’s fair?

For sure when I’m on tummy time?
Might as well get your glass of wine?
How about when you change my diap?
I’ll turn into the crying type?

Please not when you’re good and mad.
And definitely not to make me sad.
Not when you are in the chair.
No, I really don’t think that is fair.

Not when you are on tummy time.
I don’t need an excuse to drink more wine.
Definitely not when I change your diap.
Please don’t be the crying type.

I would not like them when you want to eat.
When the only thing you want is teat.
Not when you reject the bottle.
And certainly not in the swaddle.

I would not like them in the car.
Yes, I would drive to the bar.
I do not want them on the plane.
I think I might just go insane.

I would not like them at the house.
I would not like them on my blouse.
I would not like them in your crib.
I would not like them on your bib.

I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere,

I do not want your tears I say,
I do not want them Ellyette Mae.

I’ll make you pay when you eat with spice.
Those jalapenos weren’t very nice.
For sure when you consume the dairy.
I’ll cry when I meet with the gas fairy.

When I’m tired, hungry or sad.
This crying thing is not a fad.
So you better get used to these tears.
Cause’ you’ll get to hear them for all of my years.

Yikes!

I would not like your tears with spice.
I quit the dairy to make you nice.
No more Cayenne, no more cheese.
No more crying, I ask you please.

Not when you’re tired, hungry or sad.
Please let the crying thing be a fad.
I don’t want to get too used to those tears.
A crabby baby is one of my fears.

Not when you are mad
Not to make me sad
Not in the chair
No, that’s really not fair

Not when you are on tummy time
I don’t need an excuse to drink more wine
Definitely not when I change your diap.
Please don’t be the crying type

I would not like them when you want to eat
When the only thing you want is teat
Not when you reject the bottle
And certainly not in the swaddle

I would not like them in the car
Yes, I would drive to the bar
I do not want them on the plane
I think I might just go insane

I would not like them at the house
I would not like them on my blouse
I would not like them in your crib
I would not like them on your bib

I would not like them here or there,
I would not like them anywhere,

I do not want your tears I say,
I do not want them Ellyette Mae



I could go on, but I should probably tend to my child….

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