"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

Sh*t People Say....

I was recently made aware of an extremely popular series of videos on youtube called “Sh*t People Say.” For those of you who have not viewed the hundreds of videos, the premise is simple: Random people creating videos about the stereotypical things people say. There are so many videos that every race, culture, lifestyle, profession, and hobby is included. From bicycle riders and graphic designers, to vegans and Southern gay men.

I thought with all the things people have said to me in the last two months, I would salute the series by adding my own written tribute of the sh*t people have said to me….grrrrr

“You are starting to get big. OMG, You are going to be huge..I mean huge!!!!!” Followed by fat belly hand gestures and wide eyes. “ It’s not even going to be funny how big you are going to be.”

“Are you any chubbier today? Let’s have a look” (A running joke with several of my coworkers….everyday) Yep, a little chubbier today.”

“Getting kind of puffy aren’t we?” Followed by the Pillsbury Dough Boy finger into my stomach.

“You finally popped, now we all know you weren’t lying about being pregnant.”

“Are you sure it isn’t two in there? Haha hahahaha.”

“Are you sure you aren’t having twins?”

“You are going to cloth diaper? You are an idiot.”

“You are going to cloth diaper? Are you some sort of tree hugger?”

“Good luck with the cloth diaper thing. I don’t think you’ll make it three weeks.”

“Should you be eating that?”

“Is that decaf?”

“You are acting pregnant and hormonal.”

"If you think you are big now, just wait a month to see how fat and uncomfortable you are then."

“Are you starting to waddle? I think you are starting to waddle a little bit.”

"Let me give you some advice...."

“Don’t think you are going to be able to play the pregnancy sympathy card with me. It’s not going to happen.”

And finally my doctor….. “it looks like you have gained 16 pounds. At 25 weeks you should be right around 12 pounds. I normally don’t say anything, but you are considered high risk, so I thought I would mention it. “
Me: “Oops. “(smile and shoulder shrug) “I’ll start paying more attention to what I eat... But it IS only four pounds.”
Doc: 4 pounds is an entire months worth of weight.
Me (defeated): Oh.

Some of these people are lucky I haven’t gotten all “pregnant and hormonal” on them….. But I do still have a few weeks left and there is no telling what might slip out of my hormonal mouth.

Just a quick update for the additional comments I have heard over the last few weeks to add to the already insulting repertoire of comments I've already heard:

"Hey Blimpie, how's it going?"

"I hope you don't have the baby here at work today" (also said about the grocery store and two different restaurants we ate at.

"You look like you're going to burst."

"Poor chair!" - as I sat in a chair at work to eat lunch.

"You should not get an epidural. Avoid it at all costs. I had three and nothing went wrong with them, but they are bad for the baby."

"Whatever you do, get an epidural. I didn't have one with my last and I felt like I was splitting in two. Literally. Trust me, GET AN EPIDURAL!"


1 comment:

  1. STOP! Hahahaha oh man, I'm so sorry... but just think of the pregnancy as a precursor to the shit people say when babe is actually here. I'd like to say it gets better, but people be dumb.