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"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

Compare and Contrast

After four appointments here, I feel like I can accurately compare Arizona Association of Reproductive Health with Gennet for a winner takes all throw-down.

Clinic Location
Gennet:Over the river and through the woods, behind several major streets, in a small courtyard, with one tiny sign to lead you there.
AARH:Right off the freeway

Winner: AARH

Clinic itself
Gennet: Ikea could take a picture of this place and put it directly into its magazine.
AARH: Typical Dr. office furnishings, down to the floral couches and oak tables.

Winner: Gennet

Nurses
Gennet: All under the age of 30 wearing translucent white scrubs and multiple colors of thong underwear.
AARH: One high-stress Russian woman with a sour attitude.

Winner: Gennet

Wait time:
Gennet: We show up a half-hour late, they get us right in. We show up a half-hour early, they get us right in. We show up on time, they get us right in.
AARH: We show up on time, we wait 45 minutes.

Winner: Gennet

Dr. accent
Gennet: Czech, with an old communist twist. Level of understanding 80 percent.
AARH: East Indian. Level of understanding. 60 percent.

Winner: Gennet

Dr.'s attitude
Gennet: Dr. Danek - prescribed me pain killers for after the egg extraction because I might feel "some discomfort." And even if I don't, "these pain killers will help you with relaxation," followed by a laugh.
AARH: Dr. Patel - scolded us with a pointed index pointed finger for having ever consumed an alcoholic beverage.

Winner: Gennet

Dolla Dolla Bills yo:
Gennet: Dr. Danek apologized for having to prescribe us $700 worth of extra prescriptions because my eggs were growing a little too slowly. Then he scheduled an extra ultra-sound, but made sure I knew it wasn't an extra charge.
AARH: Charges $100 for every 15 minutes you are in the office

Winner: Gennet

Dolla Dolla Bills yo (part 2)Total cost of one cycle:
Gennet: $5,500
AARH: $16,000

Winner: Gennet

In the appointment:
Gennet: Dr. Danek - talks for 25 minutes about all the medical stuff, and 25 minutes about things like the cost of speeding tickets in Switzerland and which trams I should avoid in order to keep from being pick-pocketed.
AARH: Dr. Patel - Spends 5 minutes looking through his charts after he forgets I'm even his patient. Then another 10 minutes talking about how low Ben's sperm count is and how IVF is our only option, even after he already told us the appointment before that IVF is our only option.

Winner: Gennet

Best Dr. quote:
Gennet: (in a Czech communist accent) "We must change the recipe for you." Referring to my medication.
AARH: (In East Indian accent) "Ah, Ben, his sperm count is berry berry low. Yes, berry berry low." Followed by 100 more berry berry low's.

Winner: Draw

Stripping down
Gennet: Shamless: 6 times in 4 appointments, no sheet to cover up, Dr. waits in the room.
AARH: Separate room to undress, paper gown to put on, buzzer to press when you are ready.

Winner: AARH

During stripped down appointment
Gennet: A couple minutes of explaining the ultra-sound on the screen, then finished.
AARH: Mid-probe, asking who my doctor is, even though it's him.

Winner: Gennet


Total:
Gennet:9
AARH:2

Glad we decided to come to Prague

2 comments:

  1. Silly American doctors should be berry berry embarrassed ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! Had to comment again that my spam protection word was "money" Clearly, it's a sign.

    ReplyDelete