"As for me, I'll take one baby marinated in a dish please"

Forget Weddings and Baby Showers.....IVF extravaganza is all the new rage

Look out brides and mothers-to-be. As you have monopolized the celebration circuit for the duration of eternity, it is time to move aside for a new kind of party: IVF extravaganza.

I have taken the liberty to compare the three occasions to see how they compare in a head-to-head competition with one another.

The main event show piece
Bride: Sparkly engagement ring
MTB: Baby bump
IVF: Brand new Gonal-F injection kit complete with rubbing alcohol pads and daily needles.

Winner: MTB

Sweet celebration treat
Bride: Over-the-top, multi-tiered, overpriced cake
MTB: chocolate and vanilla cupcakes with either pink or blue frosting
IVF: Homemade coffee cake with fertility based acronyms and an equal amount of sperm and egg, elaborately decorated with frosting. (Thanks Heather! Best cake ever)

Winner: IVF

Celebration Drinks
Bride: Champagne and punch
MTB: Punch
IVF: Vodka

Winner: IVF

Attitude of Honored guest

Bride: Excited in the beginning, stressed, bitchy and hormonal at the end
MTB: Excited and scared throughout, but also bitchy and hormonal
IVF: Bitchy and hormonal

Winner: Draw

General cost involved
MTB: $100,000 plus college
IVF: $16,000 plus repeating cycles

Winner: MTB

Celebratory gifts
Bride:Household items
MTB:Baby items
IVF: Items for ME!! Like a personal printed photo from Bali (Thanks Lisa!)

Winner: IVF

Bride:Beautiful wedding gown
MTB:Cute dress that shows off baby bump
IVF:Magic red sweats.

Winner: Bride (Although, magic red sweats were a close second)

Bride:Prime rib buffet
MTB: Finger sandwiches and quiche
IVF: Nearest happy hour

Winner: IVF

Bride:Flower and floating candle centerpieces with satin overlays and matching chair covers
MTB: Pastel balloons, "It's a girl/boy!" sign, and diapers filled with melted Milky Way
IVF: Tag board sign that says, "BFP! BFP!"

Winner: Bride


Bride: Guessing game about how well guests know couple
MTB: Guessing game uncovering the mystery baby food flavors and chocolate substance in diaper
IVF: Guessing game with egg and sperm quality/quantity

Winner: Draw

Theme song
Bride: Another One Bites the Dust
MTB: Rainin' Babies
IVF: Don't Stop Believing

Winner: IVF

Selfish obsession level between 1-10

Winner: Draw

Grand Tally:


Extravaganza, here we come


  1. Very clever!

  2. You can definitely see your skills in the paintings you write. The arena hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. At all times follow your heart.